They don’t have the results of the biopsy yet, but frankly it looks bad. I won’t know anything until late tomorrow afternoon for sure so maybe I’m over reacting. Maybe I’m pessimistic. Maybe it will be okay for him. But I just don’t feel it. B. keeps telling me to think positive and that we don’t know anything for sure yet. But my gut it telling me different. I feel the news just getting worse and worse. The specialist today was very somber. The prognosis is not good. Her words, not mine. The problems that he has been having, the fevers, the joint pain, the weird test results, the digestive problems, everything added together all points toward cancer. Jesus, he was supposed to live at least another five years.

He’s home with me now. We just got back from the Specialist’s office. Even in his present emaciated state, he still gets complements, still draws attention, and he still has his positive attitude. Even now he’s trying to scavenge any little morsel from the kitchen floor. Yesterday the doctor told me that they tried to give him a Snasauge and he wouldn’t eat it. All he wanted, she said, was you. Almost lost it right there, I swear to god.

Here’s a picture of him when we first got him. I don’t think he’s over three months old here. The toy is the background is one of his first toys, his hedgehog.

I hope you can bear with my sentimentality here, this is very tough on B. and I.